The Eyebrow Clan
'About The Eyebrow Clan' 'History' This is the story of the Eyebrow(s) by Paul Bryn Eyebrow. When Paul Bryn Eyebrow came of age (as it is tradition for all good Viking boys to do), he left his family in Sweden and came to England to burn, pillage and plunder. He was a very tough scary Viking and the best at burning, pillaging and plundering out of all his friends. He came to England on a long boat with a group of his peers who had also come of age around the same time. He brought nothing but his sword, his axe, a dead raven and a chest of the finest beard shampoo in the whole of Sweden. Paul and his friends were very exited about their upcoming conquest and when they landed in England began to burn, pillage and plunder with more ruthless viciousness than had ever been seen before. Paul would always be leading the way- his fearsome war-cry and alarming Viking features striking terrible fear into the hearts of the powerless villagers and helpless monks. This went on for several weeks and the Vikings were having the time of their lives; becoming rich beyond their wildest dreams (and this was very rich indeed as Vikings have some VERY wild dreams about becoming rich). But then something very unexpected happened to Paul... It was early one Saturday afternoon when the Vikings were having a day off from burning, pillaging and plundering. Paul was relaxing beneath a willow tree, gently stroking his freshly washed beard and thinking happy, relaxing Viking thoughts (mainly involving beheading beautiful princesses and feeding them to ravenous dragons). Paul was awoken from his enjoyable fantasies by the sound of approaching footsteps. He looked up to see the most incredibly beautiful face he had ever set eyes upon. It was the glowing face of Allen-Dave Llewelyn The Great Spiderpig. In an instant Paul's life was changed... He cut off his beard right there and then. The radiance of Allen-Dave's features warmed his cruel Viking heart and he was at once transformed into a good and honest, considerate citizen. He became shamefully aware of all he had done wrong in his life- all the people he had ruthlessly slaughtered. He fasted for three days and nights and wore nothing but itchy, horrid rags to show how sorry he was. Then he gave all his money to 'save the goats' and other noble causes and began living his new, good life with the friendship of Allen-Dave to help him. He still sends the occasional telegram back to his family in Sweden telling them that his is still enjoying his burning, pillaging and plundering. He doesn't want them to feel like bad Viking parents and knows that his father would be especially disappointed that he abandoned his ancestral Viking ways. It wasn't long before Allen-Dave and Paul were engaged to be married (except not to be married) but due to one thing and another (mainly Allen being in a romantic relationship with another- but this is a whole story in itself so I will not go into that here) alas, it was not to be... This broke poor Paul's fragile heart and he almost considered for a moment returning to his Viking ways. But he and Allen remained close friends and through seeing her face everyday, he was reminded of why he could never become the monster that he had been again... And this brings the story up to the present day, Paul was once again engaged and this time was successfully married- to Solomon Mandela Bon-Bon, at his brother Nigel Mandela Bon-Bon's Eurovision celebration. The End (except I'm sure it's not, but it still seems like a good way to finish the tale anyway)